Jealousy
I’ll admit it, I’m a jealous person. I used to be able to hide it, but some occurences from last November driven me to be a raging jealous monster. The boy I’ve been dating on and off (mostly off) for the last year was dating a hoooooge skank when I thought he was dating only me. She didn’t know either and sent me a message apologizing to me which was nice and all but my crazy jealous self still doesn’t like her one bit. I didn’t like her before anyway, but now I realllly don’t like her. And she is a skank, so what if she tries to weasel her way back into this boy’s life? I just can’t take that shit. And this boy doesn’t seem to be doing much to instill my faith in him again. They say once trust is broken it’s gone forever and I can attest that it really is. Now why do I keep dating this boy and wanting him back? Because I’m like every other girl in the world, certifiably insane.
This boy has entirely too many girl space friends. Prior to the incidents of last November I didn’t pay it any mind and trusted him. Nope, not anymore. Considering I was entirely wrong about him. We weren’t officially together, but I was letting him stay over at least once if not more nights a week. Doesn’t that say anything? I thought I mattered a lot to him and he was telling me all sorts of crazy shit that made me feel like he wanted to practically marry me. (I’m being serious here. He once mentioned to me that we could move to San Diego together if he got this job there.)
So when I found out he’s fucking some skank on the side, I’m pretty furious. I mean, he was saying stuff about moving together. ISN’T THAT JUST A LITTLE CONFUSING? I know I’m being ridiculously stupid in continuing this relationship, but I still feel like there’s something there. Something that might possibly be amazing. I mean, I can’t blame everything on him, I’m a nut job also and I’ve also done some shitty things. But still, I now don’t really trust him all that much even though I really want to. But maybe I do trust him and I’m just being paranoid and overdramatic (I’m also those things). But I can’t help being jealous and insecure. I still don’t think there’s a whole lot he has going for him in the trust department right now.
Quasi-Dating 